Background Information Leading up to the Trip Home

            Prior to Dorina’s arrival, we had read a few books to assist us in “getting everything ready.” The books were entitled: A Peacock or a Crow – Stories, Interviews and Commentaries on Romanian Adoptions  by Victor Groza and Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families – A Guide for Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child by Dr. Ronald Federici. These books were excellent sources for introducing to us the atrocities’ of the Romanian children. Both of these books introduced the topic of “sensory deprivation disorder” which basically stated that the children of Romania lacked the necessary stimulus that every healthy child receives. Stimulus like: a hug, a kind word, a toy that makes noise, or a bedtime story. Many of the children in the orphanages’ of Romania had NOTHING! To make matters worse, we didn’t believe the stories, and suggestions made by the authors listed above. They stated that we should not have a bedroom full of toys, stacks of books, bright colored clothes, etc., you know all the things that anxious, loving parents want to provide for their babies. Rather, they said to have a barren room (since that is what they were used to) and “gradually” introduce new things into her life. They suggested that we limit the amount of visitors and caregivers. It was troubling to read such strong and heartless suggestions, so we ignored most of them. We wanted to love Dorina, hold her, read and sing to her, provide her with all the luxuries she never had…..boy were we wrong!

            Another conflicting set of suggestions were being offered by the “experts” at Lutheran Social Services (LSS). They offered to us a short video of Dorina, taken while under the care of foster parents (never confirmed). The video showed a capable, beautiful, young toddler playing with a balloon, climbing in and out of a crib, and going pee in a portable toilet. The representatives at LSS claimed that Dorina was slightly “delayed,” but with a lot of patience, good therapies and love, she would catch up with those of the same age.

The Trip Home

            When we first arrived back at the hotel, Dorina seemed to be doing great (on the most part). She was so inquisitive, touching everything, laughing, and full of energy; we even took her to Dracula’s Restaurant in Bucharest the night before our trip home. We purchased some items from Romania as souvenirs, and tokens of Dorina’s birth country, packed up our belongings, said our goodbyes to our adoption representatives and went to the Bucharest Airport. While going to our gate, the airport had a children’s play area and dad experienced the first of Dorina’s emotional breakdowns. The area had some small toys that made noise and when Dorina pulled the string, she freaked out. It took us a while to get her to calm down. Another observation in this play area was that Dorina had a difficult time placing one block on top of the other. Just before going onto the plane, we decided to take her to the bathroom before going to the seat on the plane…another tough choice to deal with. The toilets at the airport flush automatically and are extremely powerful. The noise and spray from the flush freaked Dorina out again.

            The long flight home had one stop over in Amsterdam, Dorina did surprising well from Bucharest to Amsterdam, yet over the Atlantic she started to groan, the sniffle, then cry, then the “tantrum from hell.” We tried everything but nothing seemed to quiet her down. The stewardess was awesome and understood the anxiety we were experiencing; however, the other passengers couldn’t hide being annoyed. It was the airline stewardess who finally figured out that Dorina needed to play in the lavatory sink; a few moments of splashing seemed to calm her down until we arrived.